power rankings

Another one in the books.

Robles almost pulled out the miracle win, CJ almost reversed psychologied his team to a win, and Kevan stayed undefeated. We have another slate of great matchups this week, but before we preview those, here are this weeks power rankings!

1. Two J's One Kupp (5-0) ↔

League Record: 33-12

Offensive Rank: 3rd (120.01)

Week 6, and still undefeated. Some say he’s for real, others say he’s a bigger fraud than the Cowboys. It would be disrespectful not to rate this team number one through 5 weeks. Will ETN take this team to the promise land, or will he need to trade Akers for Henry to stay up top?

2. Taylor Gang (4-1) ↔

League Record: 36-9

Offensive Rank: 1st (134.29)

Could easily be ranked number one. Highest powered offense of the season so far and no signs of slowing down. Really baffling why Kevan took Montgomery and gifted this powerhouse Chubb in the 12th. Will CJ get Cook or Chubb for Conner? That may be the only way to slow this team down.

3. Team Esperanza (4-1) ▲2

League Record: 28-17

Offensive Rank: 4th (117.51)

Aikman just keeps on doing it man. The man has already been to two super bowls, and even though he has yet to win the big game, it looks like he has put himself in a position to contend once again. Will he finally get over the hump, or will Mike Boone and London be his achilles heel?

4. Team Ruiz (3-2) ↔

League Record: 28-17

Offensive Rank: 2nd (120.92)

The king of all colluders. Bad GM’ing cost another owner the chance to have fat Lenny for pennies. Instead, a Hall of Fame GM swooped in at the opportunity. Inconsistency has been the story for this team so far this season, but last week was a step in the right direction. Will the defending champ contend again this season, or will his team not stop eating?

5. Team Robles (2-3) ▼2

League Record: 24-21

Offensive Rank: 6th (114.10)

Some believe this man was duped worse than Billy for King Henry. Regardless of those critics, a team with Mahomes, Henry, and JT is not to be taken lightly. The sky is the limit for this team, but at the same time, the floor is lower than Earth’s core. Will he put up 190 on the defending champ this week, or 60?

6. Baby Yaga (2-3) ↔

League Record: 15-30

Offensive Rank: 7th (109.52)

Day 973: still wondering what the fuck that means. This man is relentlessly trying to dupe with Conner. I think he may have realized that Dobbins has 74 speed and isn’t the answer. Will he find a dupe and turn things around? If not, it’s looking like the only ring he is getting this year is on Saturday.

7. Acenando (1-4) ▲1

League Record: 20-25

Offensive Rank: 5th (115.23)

Don’t let the 1-4 record fool you. This man has run into some bad luck. 105 points or more in 4 of 5 weeks. Current wildcard leader. A different schedule, and he could just as easily be 4-1. Look for this team to make a run in the second half of the season, unless he keeps starting Dontrell Hilliard.

8. My Mojo So Dope (3-2) ▼1

League Record: 14-31

Offensive Rank: 9th (100.73)

Since doing the funny thing and scoring 40 week 3, this team has had some players step up big in the absence of Dak. The window seems to have slammed shut on duping him for Ekeler, but if CEH scores 1.3 again, the panic may set in for a dupe. QB is a big question mark, but maybe hog will save the day once Dak is back.

9. Boss Hoggs (1-4) ↔

League Record: 15-30

Offensive Rank: 8th (100.75)

The first person to tell me why this guy drafted Akers at the 1.01 gets a free spot in the playoffs. It was bad at the time and it is even worse now. Not that we don’t all make draft mistakes (Team Ruiz took Dillon at 1.02 and Baby Gaga took Conner at 1.03), but this is all time levels of awful. A blockbuster is needed to have any hope of turning the season around. Duvernay?

10. Ayahuasca (0-5) ↔

League Record: 12-33

Offensive Rank: 10th (93.84)

Rough season so far. A lot of this team’s success will depend on if Frank starts doing his shrooms or not again. If he remains shroomless and crabby, this could be the first winless team in League of Greed history. Stay positive and keep fighting. Just remember: if you pass Boss Hoggs, he has to chug fire sauce through his anus.